The man you wish you knew :P

Soo I know this man, he has come SUCH a long way, he has taught me the road of forgiveness, found what it is like to walk down a hard long cold path.. when not everyone seems to agree with what simply makes him happy and finds his truest friends in the process... somewhere along the journey of his life that has lived before..we found each other a friend for eternity to go through every experience with. i was able to run into him and find a friend that i will hold onto for forever..he is my light, he is my world, he is my smile..he is the reason i live and stand tall this day...a man with such a big heart and will give this world a gift of his presence that you only find as you come into his path..happiness is one way to define him, unlike anything i have ever known...he has taught me trust to just simply believe and have hope where there is no way to believe in something we cant seem to see and love that is true..love that is dear to the soul..the kind that pierces the soul and lives on the journey of forever..he has taught me loyalty through the life long experiences we have encountered and found that we will get through anything in this life, that the world can give us. He has taught me the power in ownership and simply what burdens it lifts when we are honest with ourselves and the ones we love..to own who you are as a person and to not waver just because someone wants you to be who they want you to be...the most important thing that he could ever teach me is the road to forgiveness  reminds you that you deserve to live free of the mistakes you have made..what he has been able to give to me is a brand new life, a brand new way of looking at things, and most importantly a new way of trusting who I am and will be...i like to call it the best gift we could receive..one we all seem to struggle with so deep inside is to forgive all those who have hurt us..and he is one who does this quite well..and he sends us on our way to believe in a journey we all seem to try and find everyday..he gives you, that strength as you come in contact with this kind of man..it, we havent had the easiest road this past year together, but this long road we have endured together, tonight i stand before and tell you my promise, of never losing a man like him ever again...he is a man of respect, a man of willingness, he sees the deepest part of my heart and defines open minded..he is the man i run too the man i cant get enough of his presence and is with me everywhere I go in spirit and phyically..he is the man, i have learned to live for and lay my head down every night with a peace of mind after a day that i never felt it was possible to get through..he knows the places of my heart that NOT a soul will ever be and has been with me through everything and more...he amazes me in SO many ways every minute of everyday. he teaches me trusting your feelings is the only way to stay true to yourself and that openness is the only way we learn..he has defined talent with his abilites to work in a kitchen listening and advising, his selflessness to give more then he is asked and love to the ones soul cant deny..he has taught me to believe in God when I feel as though he has turned his back..and reminded me at our weakest hour, that is our time to be brave the longest...through this long road we have to endure such as life, i find joy with this man by my side...the man that my heart and soul confides in. His name is Raul Sanchez, the most amazing man who ever lived!! MUAH, iloveyouuu!!! Happy Birthday honey, you made this birthday SO incredible! thank you ALL the moments we have shared tonight, I have the best friend in the world :)

Try not to judge me cause we have walked down different paths!

You know the past couple weeks, alot of things have changed for me..I have learned who my true friends are, I have learned who I can count on...and I have also learned who will judge me and who will talk behind my back when I dont even realize it. You know, I have come to accept today, I am not mad anymore for losing the people close to me that chose to walk away when I get married, when I get my piercing and when I get my tattoo's..I am truly not the one who is missing out, because I KNOW what I am doing! I dont need anyone telling me "how" to live my life....I, right now need in my life, is people to JUST love me, I need people, to be there to listen when I FEEL nobody else cares. If you dont agree with it, and I am still doing it, it doesnt mean I dont value your opinion. It has NOTHING to do with youu..it is the fact that I am happy with my choices, I am happy that I am FINALLY doing what I want and that is between me and God..You know what I have come to know about him? He is thee most incredible father, he takes time to listen when I am sad, when I am angry and he doesnt limit me of anything that I CHOOSE to do..He reminds me that, I live the consquences good or bad. He knows that the roads I choose may be rough, he knows that I have the strength in me and he knows that I am gonna learn life lessons that are going to help his children along the way..You know, these choices havent changed WHO I AM..they have may changed my persective on things and have become more understanding...but I have not once ever tried to MAKE someone understand what I am doing..If you agree with it, great! If you dont, thats okay too. I am not gonna punish YOU for not agreeing with it, but I will not allow you to stick around in my life, if you are going to tell me how to live it..Please dont change HOW you talk too just because I am not doing whaat you want..Dont look at me different because I am moving FORWARD...and dont talk CRAP about me, because you think I wont hear about it..Trust me honey, I will. You arent someone I will trust if you think that is okay :) I have come to understand today, the people who are mature enough, will take time to realize MY happiness is important no matter what that entitles because they UNDERSTAND that I will be the one who live with the consquences and they will express to me WHAT they have learned but never once force it upon me because they know one day I will understand as they do that I am not perfect..I am JUST me..opening my wings to find out the woman that I want to be! :)

My Understanding of Easter :)

Sooo I have been thinking this Easter Sunday, bout my Savior and who he is to me! i have been thinking about the man he says he is..and the man that I personally know he is...you know it is quite simple to think that this was a man who was PERFECT! It is simple to think, what possibly could ever make him sad, what could bring him down...what could he have in his "perfect" life..that he could be sad? Well let me tell you today what I have come to conclude my thoughts with today..That Yes, he IS the Son of God..and Yes, he was perfect! But guess what! He was HUMAN...just like you and me, he knew EXACTLY what it was like to make MISTAKES..and live with the guilt that came from them, he KNEW what it was like to cry yourself to sleep every night because NOBODY wanted to JUST take the time to listen...he knew what it was like to be offended, or FEEL betrayed by someone he loved...and simply trusted! He knew what it was like to live a lie..and knew what it was like to have someone not love you back the way you loved them...He understood the tears, he understood the sadness, he understood when NOBODY else did! ANNNDDD guess what the BEST part of alll of this is? THAT he would do it alll over again without even blinking..because he LOVES us THAT much! He knew that we would NEED someone in this world, to understand, to GIVE advice..and LISTEN with his ears, heart and soul! He knew we would need someone who would let us TALK for hours even when it made NO sense to anyone else. He knew what it was like to just want someone beside us EVERY step of the way cause we didnt think we could do something on our own...HE believed...he KNEW and he HOPED we would see in ourselves..what he IS seeing allll along! He stands at the door, wont you let him COME IN! He is there...and he has been there since the VERY beginning..WHAT a friend, that isnt ashamed to be with us, for us, and by us...what a friend to LISTEN when EVERYONE else just gave up...what a friend to just make a smile...when NOTHING in this world seemed to go right...Today, I am still amazed to this day, that God...STILL believes in ME...YOU! With soo many things in this world, HOW could he possibly do that??? Everyone else has judged me? Everyone else JUST didnt want to listen...but he ALWAYS does...EVERYTIME! He has never let me down..not even for a second..he TRULY seems to amaze me with how much I can trust himmm! He doesnt tell anyone my secrets, he doesnt hurt me when he tells the truth...yet he is SO respectful about it..and he gives me people in MY life..that KNOW it..just as much as he does! Truly, this Easter Holiday, I want you to KNOW as I do this day...God lives...Christ LIVES..and The Holy Ghost TESTIFIES it IS true!! :)