Motivate to move into a brighter future!

You know lately I have come to understand how important it is to have people in my life that I can depend on, when I havent been dependable at all.. Honest with me when I just cant seem to be honest with myself and forgive me when you have every reason in the world to hate me. I have done alot of wrong, i have been two faced, talked crap, put myself down and brought others down with me. I have shut people out because of fear they may no longer love me when they find out my secrets. Or no longer love me because of the way i have hurt them.  I have turned my back when people needed me the most and I have made excuses with a fear to grab ahold of life experiences. I have had a chance to land flat on my face and learn what it is like to feel COMPLETELY alone. I know the pain of what it is like to live under the influence of Satan and feel of the rejoice to be set free from God. I have felt weights be lifted off of me when I deserved them most. I have known what its like to be sad and be angry with myself inside. I have let it take hold of my life and live for enemies and shut out the ones who care the MOST. Iknow what its like to own up to some one and things that I have done wrong. I have been repremanded for what MY choices did to the ones I love and I have felt the Saviors embrace whisperings "TRY AGAIN!" I am not exactly asking anyone to undersatnd the influence of abuse mannipulation controlling I have encountered. But I am asking for your forgiveness!! Forgiveness to try againnn, even when I dont deserve it! I have wronged MANY. I have made you feel as though you WERE second best. But with this today, I want to start over and regain YOUR trust! I know that its gonna be REALLLYY hard and I know its gonna take ALOT of patience. But I give you my word, I WONT LET YOU DOW! Now is MY chance to be the BEST me and I expect you to be BY my side! (not in front of me nor behind me!!) As i start over and I LEARN to grow from life experiences that life is so ready to give us on a regular basis. I am READY to stand, I am READY to try, i am WILLING to give this another try. For a better outcome, a BETTER future, a BETTER life I have yet to experience!! :)
With SO much love!